Woah- the past couple of months year has been pretty crazy around here. Pregnancy, bed rest, shooting, c- section, and new motherhood again have kept me pretty busy. If it hasn't been one thing, it's a million others.
And looking back at all of it, I can see the Hand of the Lord in my life. Yes- I could see blessings in the thick of it. However, when you look at how one thing fit in with others, you can't deny the guidance of the Lord in all things. He truly knows who I am and what I need.
Yes, you read correctly above. Shooting. On December 29th, Kevin was involved with two other officers in West Valley in a man with a gun call. He got the official clearance of a justified shooting just this past week. We haven't been able to talk about it until now- when the investigation is officially closed. He had hoped to not have to ever fire his weapon, but he had always said, if it was him or the other guy- he was coming home to his family. Unfortunately, the suspect chose suicide by cop.
The phone call from Kevin to tell me was one I had hoped never to get. At least it was to tell me that he was okay and that he would be home later that night. It could have been a very different phone call. I thank the Lord that it wasn't. Being seven months pregnant and on bed rest was hard enough, and the subsequent contractions due to the stress of the situation made for an uncomfortable and sketchy evening until Kevin came home. Thomas had been having a sleep over at Grandma's house, and I was blessed to have two dear friends with me at the time of the call. They took care of me physically and emotionally. God knew I would need strength and support that afternoon- there is no question about it that He put those two friends in my house that day.
Being through something like this has made me appreciate the Plan of Salvation and Eternal Families in a whole new light. I am so grateful to know that I am sealed to my husband for eternity. (Sorry babe- not getting rid of me ever!) So grateful to know that no matter what happens, I will have him next to me always.
Kevin was put on paid administrative leave until the investigation was done. However, they know in advance that he was all clear so they brought him back to work on Feb. 7th. The entire month of January, he was home with me. Up until that time, with bed rest, I had family and ward members over a lot to help me out. There were so many acts of kindness given to my family. Words can't express how grateful I am. Somehow the Lord knew that I needed more, and Kevin was able to be home with me for over a month to be there for our family. He really knows what He is doing. Kevin and I were able to have a lot of time together. More than we have ever had before in our marriage due to his work schedule. It was wonderful. We got to have one on one time and time with Thomas before our lives would be forever changed for good again with the birth of our daughter, Olivia.
Despite the horrible circumstances that brought Kevin home, I wouldn't trade that time with him for anything. I needed it. He needed it. Thomas needed it. God facilitated it. Thank you Lord.
Then, it was Baby time two weeks after he went back to work! Olivia was born healthy, and happy. She is a great baby! (Baby story to come in another post.) Thomas loves being a big brother and has no jealousy issues so far. I told him before Liv was born that I chose him specifically to be my special helper with Olivia because he was such a good helper. I knew he would do a great job. He took his job very seriously and we had a few practice runs on him grabbing a burp rag for me, etc. He loves Baby Liv so much he told me he wanted her to be his wife when they grow up. I informed him that she already had a job being his sister, so she couldn't be his wife too. Two jobs is too much- he would have to choose another girl he loved when he grew up to have the wife job. He thought for a moment and then said, "Oh. Ok." That was the end of that. Point for Mama!
I am so grateful for my family. Can't believe I have two kids. Children. As in plural! Never thought I'd see the day. And so far- I'm loving it. Life is good.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Coming up for air
Friday, November 18, 2011
I'm not dead. Promise.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Coming clean
The hardest part about blogging is to do it regularly, and t0 catch up when you haven't.
I usually post about dance stuff because it's easy and a cop out. Yes, I want to share the fun things I do with it, but sometimes I only post that stuff because it's all I feel I have to offer.
I have another dance blog that I would put stuff on for people at the dance studio to be able to see and pick up choreography etc. I've thought about not posting anything dance related on this blog, but then it would be blank.
But it isn't like you're getting frequent updates anyway.
I need to come clean.
I've been battling depression again. Blech. It's been quite a few months now. Only in the past few have I recognized that I could no longer handle it on my own and needed to seek medical help and go back on meds.
I am happy to report that I am getting better. The medication I am on is hitting a different chemical than those I've tried in the past. I feel this is a much better fit for me.
However, I still feel unpredictable. Which makes me mad. Because there's no stinking reason for me to change moods so quickly. And I recognize it's part of the disease- but it still irks me.
I know I have bi polar tendencies. But not full bi polar disorder.
I'm either really excited about a project one day and want to get it done right then. And the next day I don't care if I put a single bit of effort into it. It's one of the reasons I get sucked into TV shows, books etc. Because I'm in it all the way, 200%, full throttle and infuse it into my brain. Then I'm totally over it.
I haven't been able to work much because of depression. Some days I can't get out of bed and I don't care about anything. Good news- Those days are drastically reduced now. But the not working, and deciding not to go to competition in June, has reduced my clientele, so even if I had a great day and wanted to work lots, there aren't the people for me at the moment.
Not working has put a strain on us financially. And that's what made me break down to get help. Kevin was drowning in working hours to help us make ends meet. We argued about it and finally I had to tell him why I wasn't working. It was horrible to know that I had unintentionally driven my husband into the ground and he had nothing left. The look on his face was so weary. I felt like a horrible wife.
Once I told him what was going on, we had a whole other can of worms to deal with. We had a hard time understanding each other for a while. He wanted explanations as to why I felt the way I did, and I didn't have any- because there wasn't any. It's been another learning process.
He has really come through and tried so hard to understand where I am coming from and give me space to figure things out. Either that or he just doesn't even try any more because he feels I'm hopeless and it won't change. I don't know. I'd like to think the former as opposed to the latter.
I've had to let people in to help be my support group. I'm so grateful for all of you. You know who you are.
Again, things are looking up. Meds are working. Able to mostly function again. Few setbacks. Great support. Lots of prayers.
I have to tell myself- One day at a time. One day at a time.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Showcase Pictures
Never thought I'd see myself doing MJ moves.
It was a Cha Cha.
This is Tom. 
This is Bridger.
I borrowed this amazing dress from a wonderful lady who happened to be the same size as me.
This was the Rumba I did with Brett.
The gal that took this picture calls it "levitation".
