EXPECTO PATRONUM!!

So, as you can tell, I’ve been on a bit of a Harry Potter kick. I recently finished the series for the second time. The world of witchcraft and wizardry has infiltrated my everyday life. I was having a particularly down day last month and was trying to explain how I was feeling to my Mother In Law.

I felt like I had a Dementor following my every step. For those of you who don’t know (but should) a Dementor is a creature similar in looks to the Ringwraiths from Lord of the Rings. (And if you don’t know what a Ringwraith is- I think it’s time to crawl out of that hole you’ve been living in for the past 50 years.) When Dementors are around, the air is cold and damp and a mist covers the ground. They make you feel as though there is no hope and no happiness left in you or in the world. They are soulless creatures considered to be among the foulest beasts on Earth. They can give you the Dementor’s Kiss which is to suck the soul right out of you. The victim is left as an empty shell, incapable of thought and with no possibility of recovery. It is said that existing after a Dementor's Kiss is worse than death. (I know- this is fabulous reading material for children of all ages.) Anyway- it was the perfect example of how I was feeling.


So the perfectly obvious question that Kevin’s mom asked was, “How do you get rid of them?” I paused. “You have to think of a happy thought, and you’ll be protected.” Hello? Duh! Clark Kent IS Superman! (Shout out to all the FoLC’s out there!)

So I decided that I would make sure to focus on my happy thoughts whenever I was feeling the Dementor getting too close. (Count your many blessings name them one by one…) So, now that I have my arsenal of happy thoughts and feeling a bit like Peter Pan sans Fairy Dust- I need a Patronus. Again- for those of you who didn’t ace your charms test: To drive away a Dementor you must perform a Patronus Charm which is Expecto Patronum! This will cause a silvery figure to emit from your wand. It takes the form of an animal and will chase away the Dementors. This animal is your protector. Harry’s took the form of a stag which was the animal his father was able to transfigure in to. ( I know this is getting complicated. Hang in there with me.)

As I’m trying to figure out what form my Patronus will take, I decided to ask Kevin. Without filling him in completely, I asked him, “If I were an animal- what would I be?” I was not prepared for his answers. “Either a hummingbird because you are all over the place, or a donkey because you are so stubborn.” I didn’t quite know how to respond to that. Would you? So, I’m picturing a hybrid with a hummingbird front with the backside of a donkey tacked on. Sorry no picture. Your imagination will have to suffice.

He asked the question in return,“What animal would I be?” YES! Oh that was too easy! Are you ready? “A badger-“ I was rudely interrupted by his great outburst of laughter. I can’t remember the last time I heard him laugh so hard. “…a badger because you are so determined and won’t let go of something once you get your paws on it. Plus you have a bad habit of not trimming your toenails when necessary. That or a rhinoceros because you have thick skin and you won’t let anything past you that you don’t want to.” More laughter ensues until he asks, “Why are we having this discussion anyway?” So, I explained my theory about having a Patronus to help me get rid of my Dementors. He admitted though somewhat silly, he could see the point behind it all.

I have decided to adopt the hybrid hummingbird/donkey as my Patronus. I figure that in itself will create a happy thought as I “conjure” it. However it needs a name. If ½ eagle and ½ horse is called a Hippogriff, I need an equally cool name for my new species. (If you don’t know what a Hippogriff is, I’m afraid there is no hope for you. Sorry.)

In conclusion, I am taking ideas for names of my new creature. Would it be a Hummule? A Donkingbird? What would you call it? What would your Patronus be?