Gears are turning.

I have had a lot of thought processing going on lately in my brain.

Deciphering things that are truly important vs. percieved importance.

Things I want to do or be vs. things I should do and be.

Things others want and things I don't.

Relationships I need vs. relationships I don't need.

I'm putting some goals up on the board.

Short term and long term.

I am determined to be who I want to be, and have the life I want.

Introspection can be painful.

Time to begin!

I am grateful for a new year to grow.

Merry Christmas to all!

Because my blog is being silly and won't let me upload my video directly here,

you get to go HERE to see it.

Merry Christmas to all my friends and family!

Holiday Dance Classic 2010

After a week of being sick and wondering if I would make the competition or not- I was well enough to go. The flight went well- most of our crew were all on the same flight. It was a party on the plane. Something was up with the shuttle to the Luxor- so Martin decided the best way to get us all to the hotel was a limo. Only Martin. So 10 of us crammed in the limo. The two 11 year olds were going nuts- as you can see in the pictures. LOL!

"I have limo water!!!"

Paolo was so excited.

I was up at 4:45 to get me ready then two other girls. I couldn't sleep that night- nerves and routines going through my head. Needless to say that after the adrenaline rush was over....

My hair.

The sunrise over the strip.

Waiting around for our heats to start.

Tom and I. This was his first comp. He really enjoyed it.

KJ was a good boy and brought books to read while waiting to dance.

Glade- our competition frequent flyer.

Pam with her fake pony tail and awesome dress.

She did amazing in her dances. If you feel sexy- you dance sexy. It's just how it works!

This is my alter ego. The one that is allowed to come out and play on the dance floor. ;)

Trying on one of Karina Smirnoff's dresses from Dancing With The Stars. I didn't quite fill out the top like she does...

The colors remind me of my I Dream of Jeannie costume.

I tried on a few more dresses for fun.

Where else, but at a dance competition can I try on $5,000 dresses?

This blue one was only $1,500...

This fuschia one was $5,000...

I am in love with the ostrich feathers!!!!

Pam's hair for Smooth day.

Giovanna's hair for Smooth day.

Christine's hair for Smooth day.

Erin's hair for Smooth day.

I didn't compete that day, so I did everyone's hair and make up through out the day.

It is a lot of fun to do.

I'm building up quite the portfolio.

I wish I could do my own hair like this- I simply can't reach or see!

We got to play Thursday night. So we took the tram over to the Mandalay Bay.

We went to the 64th floor to the club Mix.

Martin never passes up an opportunity for luxury...

We all converged on the dance floor and had a great time.

The regular clubbers weren't very happy. They sat down cause we could actually dance.

It was pretty funny.

The bathrooms were interesting...

Inside the individual bathroom rooms, there were ceiling to floor windows (tinted) that look out over the strip. And the toilets face out! So it gives you the illusion of dropping your drawers infront of the whole city. So random. Quite the experience.

While out walking the strip to get fresh air, we came across The Man of Steel.

I couldn't help myself! I had to get a picture with him. Or two... or five. HA!

In the Aria is a great little patisserie. Everything looked like a work of art. It was hard to decide what to get. The blueberry muffin and white chocolate cheesecake made the cut.

Absolutely fabulous!

The flight home Friday night was delayed. Didn't get home until 1:30 AM on Saturday.

All in all, a great trip with good friends.

Glad to be home though.

Inside my head

I haven't been to church in two months. That's right two months. And it's been spotty before then. It's bad.
I have neglected my calling and assumed that others would pick up my slack.

Thomas and I have been taking turns being sick- and I can't send him to nursery. Kevin works all night long and only makes it to church if he is teaching Elders Quorum. He's sleeping, so he can't be with Thomas. So that leaves me to be home with him.

I feel like a bad Member and a bad mother.

I worry that Thomas hasn't had a routine as far as church goes. And with him beginning Sunbeams in January- I freak out that it will all be so foreign to him that he will be naughty. I don't want the reputation of having a bad kid. Or be labled as a bad Mom.

And after all this time of just disappearing and leaving the music in Relief Society to the pianist and who knows who else to lead it- I am ashamed to show my face. I'm convinced in my head, that others will be thinking, "Oh! Look who decided to show up and do her job!"

I want to be there. Things keep creeping up so I can't be there. Every Saturday night, I hope that either Thomas or I will be okay so we can go so I don't get a sub. Then every Sunday we aren't well.

I don't want Thomas to miss out on these precious moments. I want him to love church and know how to behave while there. I feel I am to blame for his shortcomings in this arena.

When will it get better? How do I fill in the blank? Do I send him with a runny nose? How do I go back and accept the possible negative thoughts as I try to do my job?

Pictures from the showcase

I Dream of Jeannie

Only got partial on the dress rehearsal- and even less in the actual show. But here they both are anyway.

Last Breath

Here is Tom and I in our Broadway/WCS/ECS medley. One of my favorite dances!